so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This is the high leading the old right now
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
