I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
