I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
