Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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