At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
nutella sex= disaster
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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