i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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