There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
