I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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