put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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