you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
