So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
