Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
