hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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