He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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