VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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