Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
