Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
why didn't you poke me back
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
