How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
