She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Randomize
