There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
