Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
