He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
