ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
