Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
