Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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