i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
