I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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