the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
