I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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