you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
