Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
