i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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