we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
