I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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