The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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