a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
