did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
