I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
