if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
