Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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