Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
