Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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