google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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