I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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