3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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