i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
