I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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