I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize