yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
