Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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