i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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