I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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