dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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