We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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