sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
