Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
