is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
