Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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