Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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